Core Fears
- uncertainty and the unknown
- making the wrong decisions
- losing security and stability
- change and unpredictability
- being without support or guidance
- being betrayed by trusted individuals
- being abandoned or left alone
- being unprepared or caught off guard
- being unsafe or in danger
- being unable to trust themselves and others
Core Desires
- to be prepared for any situation
- to be secure and stable
- to have trustworthy relationships
- to be loyal and dependable
- to be reaffirmed and reassured
- to avoid danger and harm
- to foresee and prevent problems
- to have consistency and predictability
Healthy Sixes are trustworthy, responsible, dependable, loyal, and sympathetic. They enjoy making pleasant and harmonious connections, creating strong personal bonds of friendship with others, and having a sense of belonging. Trust is extremely important to all Sixes, not just healthy ones, due to their unconscious fear of being abandoned or left without support. Even healthy Sixes question people and their motives to ensure they are trustworthy, with their alert mentality allowing them to be intuitive and insightful about people. Healthy Sixes are warm, personable, and playful once they trust someone, but that trust is not given blindly. Once you've earned their trust, they become truly committed, compassionate, supportive, and reliable friends. They are the bedrock and foundation of any society, treating everyone as equals and believing greatly in cooperation. Healthy Sixes are hardworking and enjoy providing stability, security, and loyalty in all areas of their lives. They like being part of a cause or movement greater than themselves, especially those that support the underdog. They are honorable, conscientious, meticulous, good with details, and have an eye for seeing potential problems before they arise. Self-disciplined, organized, and prioritized, Sixes are reliable in seeing projects through to completion. They persevere through difficulties and calamities, always remaining by your side. Though they may have occasional self-doubts, healthy Sixes trust themselves and their decisions. They are deeply devoted to the well-being of their loved ones and community.
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​​Average Sixes are often plagued by self-doubt, fear, and anxiety. They struggle to trust themselves and others. While all Sixes have a natural instinct to protect themselves from danger, some may become phobic and withdraw in response, while others may become counterphobic and confront their fears head-on. Regardless, both phobic and counterphobic Sixes share a common experience of underlying feelings of fear and anxiety. These emotions can manifest in a variety of ways, including defensiveness, mistrust, and suspicion of others. Phobic Sixes may seek guidance, support, stability, and reassurance from external sources, despite their desire to have independence. They may invest significant time and energy into people and organizations that they believe will provide them with reliability, trustworthiness, and security. However, the more they depend on these sources, the more anxious they may feel inside, potentially losing their sense of inner strength and faith in themselves. In contrast, counterphobic Sixes may exhibit more independent, reactionary, tough, and rebellious behaviors.
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​Average Sixes often find themselves overwhelmed with too many commitments. They feel a sense of responsibility towards important people in their life, such as their boss, spouse, children, or parents, and try to meet their expectations. While they want to fit in and be accepted, they can feel indecisive and ambivalent about their commitments. When they realize they can't fulfill their commitments, they get overwhelmed and worried, especially when important people ask for their help at the same time. This can make them nervous, insecure, and anxious, causing them to react defensively, passively, or evasively. They feel pressured and fear that giving up any of their commitments will undermine their own security. Individuals with an average Six personality type often crave predictability and stability in their lives. However, despite this desire, they can exhibit unpredictable emotional reactions when they feel trapped or afraid due to their inner confusion and apprehension. This can lead them to complain and blame others for their problems, and they tend to be pessimistic, often seeing the glass as half empty rather than half full. Additionally, when their anxiety is high or they fear others' disapproval, average Sixes can be indecisive and procrastinate on tasks, which can further exacerbate their feelings of apprehension and confusion.
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Unhealthy Sixes tend to feel increasingly insecure and lack confidence in themselves. As a result, they may blame others for their problems and anxieties. They may also feel a strong urge to escape from the pressure of their own doubts and inner anxiety. Unhealthy phobic Sixes can become stubborn and defensive, oscillating between being explosively reactionary and clingingly dependent. They may appear independent and defiant at times, but this is only an overcompensation for feeling insecure and needy inside. Unhealthy counterphobic Sixes tend to react aggressively to perceived threats to their security, often appearing rebellious, belligerent, and very short-tempered. Whether phobic or counterphobic, unhealthy Sixes feel they need to be tough and stand up for themselves. They are extremely wary of who might be a friend and who might be an enemy. Due to feeling unsafe inside, they will defend who or whatever gives them security and be derogatory (phobic Sixes) or aggressive (counterphobic Sixes) towards perceived enemies. Additionally, they may resort to scapegoating others for their problems and anxieties.
Natural Talents & Gifts
• notice flaws, discrepancies, inconsistencies, inaccuracies and contradictions
• ability to foresee problems and troubleshoot them before they occur
• can protect, guard, defend, and keep people safe from harm
• a strong sense of loyalty, duty, and responsibility
• a deep intuition regarding people and situations
• work well in team environments, collaborating for a common goal
• a keen sense of awareness and vigilance
• display a careful attention to details
• working hard with steady and persistent efforts
• trustworthy in honoring their commitments and plans
Instinctual Variants
Instinctual variants are crucial in the Enneagram as they significantly shape our personalities. All animals, including humans, possess three survival instincts: Self-Preservation, Sexual (One-to-One or Relational), and Social.
Our psyche is comprised of three instincts, which are present in everyone but to varying degrees. One of these instincts takes precedence over the others and is referred to as our dominant subtype. This instinct is the first aspect of life that we attend to, and it can be related to security and wellbeing, intimate relationships, or social belonging.
Self-Preservation
Those who fall under this subtype are particularly focused on ensuring they have the necessary resources to survive. This includes providing for their partner and children, if they have any. Their concerns typically revolve around physical comfort, food, money, room temperature, health, housing, and overall well-being. Although they may have fulfilling relationships and social lives, if their self-preservation needs are not met, they may feel uneasy and uncomfortable.
Sexual
While most people desire one-to-one relationships, sexual subtypes have a strong preoccupation with intimate connections, particularly with their partner. They constantly seek to be in a relationship and strive to get closer to their partner. Sexual subtypes are highly attuned to the chemistry and level of stimulation between themselves and others. Without deep intimacy in their primary relationships, they feel emotionally unsatisfied and ill at ease.
Social
Social subtypes have an inherent need to belong to the culture they identify with, which drives them to adapt to the culture's needs to be accepted and protected. They are highly aware of how others perceive them, but not all social subtypes enjoy group activities. Unlike self-preservation subtypes, who enjoy their alone time, and sexual subtypes, who value exclusive intimacy, social subtypes prefer to be involved with people.
Enneagram 6 Subtypes
Self-Preservation Sixes fear not being protected, which fuels their need for protection through friendships and alliances. They perceive the world as dangerous and seek friendly connections to feel safe. They can struggle with trusting themselves and often search for an "idealized other" for protection. This need to escape anxiety can lead to dependency on others. They have a warm and friendly temperament and a driving need for friendship or warmth. This subtype is the warmest of the Sixes and seeks intimacy and trust in relationships. Self-Preservation Sixes fear aggression and struggle to express their own aggression. Self-Preservation Six personalities struggle with hesitation, indecision, and uncertainty. They often doubt themselves and have a difficult time making decisions. Due to their fundamental sense of insecurity, they may feel a lot of blame and guilt, even when it's not warranted. Self-Preservation Sixes experience two realities: an external one of warmth, tenderness, serenity, and peacefulness, and an inner one of fear, guilt, anguish, and torment. They feel heart-centered on the outside, but are head-centered internally. The avoidant Self-Preservation subtype is the most phobic of the three Sixes and equates love with protection. They search for a source of security to compensate for an inner sense of insecurity and want to find a strong person to lean on.
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The Sexual Six is the most counterphobic of the Type Six subtypes. They turn against fear by assuming a stance of strength and intimidation. Anxiety in this Six is allayed by skill and readiness in the face of a possible attack. They often appear bold and even fierce, going against danger assertively and aggressively as a way of denying and coping with their fear. Sexual Sixes have a passion for securing a position of strength that will hold the enemy at a distance. These Sixes demonstrate a powerful demeanor that arises from their desire to avoid appearing weak and refuse to accept any form of vulnerability within themselves. The Sexual Sixes tend to link their strength with a false perception of self-sufficiency and the ability to avoid being affected by adversity. They may also experience a sense of inner turmoil and use their strength as a defense mechanism against their own self-doubt. They are always wary of potential danger and take measures to avoid being taken advantage of or attacked. They tend to think in terms of contrarian scenarios, focusing on the best when others focus on the worst, and vice versa. Although they may seem assertive, they often hold doubt in their minds for a long time, getting caught between choices. They prefer concrete and pragmatic ideologies because they feel safe and allow control of the world.
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Social Sixes cope with fear and anxiety by relying on abstract reasoning or a specific ideology as a frame of reference. They find safety in authorities or the authority of reason, rules, and rational thinking. They consult the guidelines associated with their chosen authority and focus on knowing the benchmark and obeying the rules. They feel a need to know all the points of reference, including the metaphorical party line, who the good guys are, and who the bad guys are. Social Sixes fear the disapproval of authorities and believe that safety lies in doing the right thing as determined by an authority. Total submission and obedience to authority helps them feel safe, but choosing the wrong authority can be problematic for Social Sixes. The Social Six is a mix of phobic and counterphobic expressions. They rely on precision to cope with their anticipatory anxiety and feel most secure when things are in clear categories. They have an intolerance of ambiguity and fear uncertainty, which leads to a love of precision and a black-and-white perspective. Social Sixes are not spontaneous and tend to live a scripted life. They may lack contact with their instincts and intuition, resulting in shyness and difficulty socializing. Social Sixes, at their worst, can be perceived as controlling, impatient, judgmental, and self-critical, demanding a lot from themselves and others.
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